Confession:
I've always thought of prayer as something I do to bring me closer to God. Asking for His will, demonstrating gratitude, perhaps begging for peace and direction, but not necessarily asking for anything else. After all, my adult mind rationalized, would He not prefer me to be so aligned with Him that I accept what is to come as I walk in His path, rather than asking for Him to intervene?
But there's that sticky issue of free will. Which means just because God is the Creator, the created can still do a great job of messing things up. Free will is there because God is loving and wants to be loved for Himself, because He IS the Creator, the Way, and the Truth. No one, not even God, wants to be loved because there is no other choice. Is that truly love?
I think about this a lot right now. We're having a baby. And I think about the mother I want to be. I want my child to love me because I am wise and tender, just and companionable - and because I loved him (or her) first and best. And because I'm his mother! And in thinking of God as a Father, I think He deserves love because He is all those things.
Just as I will protect and cherish my child and want all the best for him or her, there comes a point where free will kicks in. My child could choose to not follow my best-intentioned rules, and maybe he will get hurt. Or an independent streak will appear, and she'll want to "do it all by myself." Kids do that, and independence is good. In the right places.
We do that to God, don't we? We either try to do it all on our own. Or, like me, we sit and shrug, and say "Whatever happens, happens. God grant us peace," and move on. How is our faith going to grow? Sure, we're at a point of faith in God, an understanding of wanting His will. But do you ever think He's just waiting for us to ask Him to do something? Waiting to act, ready to step in and reveal His power?
In some things, I'm probably going to have to hold back with my child, and not act, unless asked, no matter how I want to rush in and make it all better. Because even if I have the power to intervene, there is a lesson to be learned in asking for help. In trusting that help will come, when asked.
So I come to my revelation of the day: Maybe prayer can be about asking for help, asking God to intervene, to heal, to do things you're not sure He'll do. Isn't that what he did for Abraham? (Gen 18:17-33). Isn't that what He did for Nehemiah? (Nehemiah chapters 1&2) Didn't Jesus heal and cast out demons, upon request?
And in praying for the specific, admitting my need for Him, and asserting my inability and His supreme ability, my faith grows. Because, yes, I want my prayer answered. I believe He can. I believe He is sovereign. But if that prayer isn't answered in the way I want it, I've placed my faith in God, not in myself. I haven't shrugged and said "Whatever happens, happens." I've gone boldly to my Father and asked for help and know I've been heard.
The value is in the asking, not necessarily in the answer.
Friday, April 03, 2009
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Some Thoughts on Creativity
This is a little long but worth watching. I'm really intrigued and hope to track down his books.
Thursday, January 01, 2009
Cover to Cover in 2008
Happy New Year! I'm looking back on 2008 - there were great new discoveries, disappointments, new friends, and a few goodbyes.
At the moment, I want to share my greatest achievement of the year with you.
Early January 2008, I decided I needed to read more. I set a goal of reading at least 12 new books, intending to go mostly to the library for them. My book club reads a book a month, so this was far too simple a goal. Anyway, I started keeping a list of the books I read, just out of curiosity. Somewhere in the middle of the year, I got slack with the record-keeping so the following list isn't exactly chronological as I had to go back and dig out the titles and authors. As it turns out, I read at least 100 books this year. (I didn't count the ones I started and didn't finish.)
How did I do it? I read very quickly, especially if I'm re-reading a favorite, and my schedule permitted an average of 2.5 hours a day of reading time (30 min in the morning, 30 at lunch and approx 1hr in evenings during my bubblebath time and often 15-30 min before bed). We don't subscribe to cable or satellite TV, so you might say my reading took the place of TV time.
I don't expect to repeat this feat in 2009, but I'm planning to keep a list. It's nice to look back and see just what I did with my time and remember all the good stories and interesting history I encountered over the year.
Legend:
*=re-read
^=Lovely Readers Book Club selection
Blue Text = NonFiction
Green Text = Auto/Biography
At the moment, I want to share my greatest achievement of the year with you.
Early January 2008, I decided I needed to read more. I set a goal of reading at least 12 new books, intending to go mostly to the library for them. My book club reads a book a month, so this was far too simple a goal. Anyway, I started keeping a list of the books I read, just out of curiosity. Somewhere in the middle of the year, I got slack with the record-keeping so the following list isn't exactly chronological as I had to go back and dig out the titles and authors. As it turns out, I read at least 100 books this year. (I didn't count the ones I started and didn't finish.)
How did I do it? I read very quickly, especially if I'm re-reading a favorite, and my schedule permitted an average of 2.5 hours a day of reading time (30 min in the morning, 30 at lunch and approx 1hr in evenings during my bubblebath time and often 15-30 min before bed). We don't subscribe to cable or satellite TV, so you might say my reading took the place of TV time.
I don't expect to repeat this feat in 2009, but I'm planning to keep a list. It's nice to look back and see just what I did with my time and remember all the good stories and interesting history I encountered over the year.
Legend:
*=re-read
^=Lovely Readers Book Club selection
Blue Text = NonFiction
Green Text = Auto/Biography
1. Lord Peter* (Sayers)
2. Cold Sassy Tree (Burns)
3. Leaving Cold Sassy (Burns)
4. Cosby (Smith)
5. Going Places* (Hill)
6. Little Heathens^ (Kalish)
7. The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers* (Hollingsworth)
8. The Christmas Train (Baldacci)
9. Living the Questions* (Arends)
10. A Letter of Mary* (King)
11. Julie of the Wolves (George)
12. Downtown (Siddons)
13. A Year By the Sea (Anderson)
14. Underfoot In Show Business* (Hanff)
15. The Chosen* (Potok)
16. Jane Austen: Obstinate Heart* (Myer)
17. The Mysterious Edge of the Heroic World (Konigsburg)
18. It Ain't All About the Cookin' (Deen)
19. Shepherds Abiding* (Karon)
20. Everything on a Waffle (Horvath)
21. Winter Birds (Turner)
22. Arranging Flowers (Stewart)
23. No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency (Smith)
24. Gardening 101 (Stewart)
25. Outer Banks (Siddons)
26. Locked Rooms* (King)
27. Mrs. Mike*^(Freedman)
28. The Rules of Work* (Temple)
29. Fred Astaire Biography
30. The Appeal (Grisham)
31. Light From Heaven (Karon)
32. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes* (Doyle)
33. Ingrid (Chandler)
34. Anna’s Book^ (Rendell)
35. The Wright Three (Balliet)
36. Anne’s House of Dreams* (Montgomery)
37. Anne of Ingleside* (Montgomery)
38. Estee Lauder (Lauder)
39. Nancy Astor Fictionalized Bio
40. Fer-de-Lance (Stout)
41. The Rubber Band (Stout)
42. Some Buried Caesar (Stout)
43. Too Many Women (Stout)
44. In the Best Families (Stout)
45. The Golden Spiders (Stout)
46. A Family Affair (Stout)
47. Might As Well Be Dead (Stout)
48. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle^ (Kingsolver)
49. If Death Ever Slept (Stout)
50. The Doorbell Rang (Stout)
51. The Father Hunt (Stout)
52. The Black Mountain (Stout)
53. Loving Frank^ (Horan)
54. Locked Rooms (King)*
55. Trouble in Triplicate (Stout 1949, 3 stories)
56. Three Doors to Death (Stout 1950, 3 stories)
57. Three for the Chair (Stout 1957, 3 stories)
58. And Four To Go (Stout 1958, 4 stories)
59. Three at Wolfe's Door (Stout 1960, 3 stories)
60. Appetite For Life: Julia Child (Fitch)
61. Lord Peter* (Sayers) Yes, I read it twice.
62. Murder Must Advertise (Sayers)
63. The Mysterious Affair at Styles (Christie)
64. Murder of Roger Ackroyd (Christie)
65. Death on the Nile (Christie)
66. Martha, Inc. (Byron)
67. American House Styles (Baker)
68. Wright (Pfeiffer)
69. The Two (Wallace)
70. The Mystery of Agatha Christie (Robyns)
71. A Caribbean Mystery (Christie)
72. Nemesis (Christie)
73. What Mrs. McGillicuddy Saw (Christie)
74. And Then There Were None (Christie)
75. Bel Canto^ (Patchett)
76. Mrs. Kimble^ (Hague)
77. That Ain’t All, Folks! (Blanc)
78. Justice Hall* (King)
79. The Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
80. The Two Towers (Tolkien)
81. The Return of the King (Tolkien)
82. 84 Charing Cross Road* (Hanff)
83. Underfoot In Show Business* (Hanff) Yes again.
84. The Count of Monte Cristo* (Dumas)
85. The Chronicles of Avonlea* (Montgomery)
86. The Mirror Crack’d (Christie)
87. The Body in the Library (Christie)
88. The Case for Faith (Strobel)
89. Handmade Christmas (Stewart)
90. Christmas with Martha Stewart Living* (Stewart)
91. My Grandfather’s Son (Thomas)
92. Nora, Nora (Siddons)
93. Irving Berlin: American Troubadour (Jablonski)
94. Visions of Sugar Plums (Evanovich)
95. Prisoner’s Base (Stout)
96. John Jacob Astor (Madsen)
97. The Chosen* (Potok) Yes, twice.
98. Rainbow Valley* (Montgomery)
99. Mother Hunt (Stout)
100. Gambit (Stout)
2. Cold Sassy Tree (Burns)
3. Leaving Cold Sassy (Burns)
4. Cosby (Smith)
5. Going Places* (Hill)
6. Little Heathens^ (Kalish)
7. The Simple Faith of Mister Rogers* (Hollingsworth)
8. The Christmas Train (Baldacci)
9. Living the Questions* (Arends)
10. A Letter of Mary* (King)
11. Julie of the Wolves (George)
12. Downtown (Siddons)
13. A Year By the Sea (Anderson)
14. Underfoot In Show Business* (Hanff)
15. The Chosen* (Potok)
16. Jane Austen: Obstinate Heart* (Myer)
17. The Mysterious Edge of the Heroic World (Konigsburg)
18. It Ain't All About the Cookin' (Deen)
19. Shepherds Abiding* (Karon)
20. Everything on a Waffle (Horvath)
21. Winter Birds (Turner)
22. Arranging Flowers (Stewart)
23. No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency (Smith)
24. Gardening 101 (Stewart)
25. Outer Banks (Siddons)
26. Locked Rooms* (King)
27. Mrs. Mike*^(Freedman)
28. The Rules of Work* (Temple)
29. Fred Astaire Biography
30. The Appeal (Grisham)
31. Light From Heaven (Karon)
32. The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes* (Doyle)
33. Ingrid (Chandler)
34. Anna’s Book^ (Rendell)
35. The Wright Three (Balliet)
36. Anne’s House of Dreams* (Montgomery)
37. Anne of Ingleside* (Montgomery)
38. Estee Lauder (Lauder)
39. Nancy Astor Fictionalized Bio
40. Fer-de-Lance (Stout)
41. The Rubber Band (Stout)
42. Some Buried Caesar (Stout)
43. Too Many Women (Stout)
44. In the Best Families (Stout)
45. The Golden Spiders (Stout)
46. A Family Affair (Stout)
47. Might As Well Be Dead (Stout)
48. Animal, Vegetable, Miracle^ (Kingsolver)
49. If Death Ever Slept (Stout)
50. The Doorbell Rang (Stout)
51. The Father Hunt (Stout)
52. The Black Mountain (Stout)
53. Loving Frank^ (Horan)
54. Locked Rooms (King)*
55. Trouble in Triplicate (Stout 1949, 3 stories)
56. Three Doors to Death (Stout 1950, 3 stories)
57. Three for the Chair (Stout 1957, 3 stories)
58. And Four To Go (Stout 1958, 4 stories)
59. Three at Wolfe's Door (Stout 1960, 3 stories)
60. Appetite For Life: Julia Child (Fitch)
61. Lord Peter* (Sayers) Yes, I read it twice.
62. Murder Must Advertise (Sayers)
63. The Mysterious Affair at Styles (Christie)
64. Murder of Roger Ackroyd (Christie)
65. Death on the Nile (Christie)
66. Martha, Inc. (Byron)
67. American House Styles (Baker)
68. Wright (Pfeiffer)
69. The Two (Wallace)
70. The Mystery of Agatha Christie (Robyns)
71. A Caribbean Mystery (Christie)
72. Nemesis (Christie)
73. What Mrs. McGillicuddy Saw (Christie)
74. And Then There Were None (Christie)
75. Bel Canto^ (Patchett)
76. Mrs. Kimble^ (Hague)
77. That Ain’t All, Folks! (Blanc)
78. Justice Hall* (King)
79. The Fellowship of the Ring (Tolkien)
80. The Two Towers (Tolkien)
81. The Return of the King (Tolkien)
82. 84 Charing Cross Road* (Hanff)
83. Underfoot In Show Business* (Hanff) Yes again.
84. The Count of Monte Cristo* (Dumas)
85. The Chronicles of Avonlea* (Montgomery)
86. The Mirror Crack’d (Christie)
87. The Body in the Library (Christie)
88. The Case for Faith (Strobel)
89. Handmade Christmas (Stewart)
90. Christmas with Martha Stewart Living* (Stewart)
91. My Grandfather’s Son (Thomas)
92. Nora, Nora (Siddons)
93. Irving Berlin: American Troubadour (Jablonski)
94. Visions of Sugar Plums (Evanovich)
95. Prisoner’s Base (Stout)
96. John Jacob Astor (Madsen)
97. The Chosen* (Potok) Yes, twice.
98. Rainbow Valley* (Montgomery)
99. Mother Hunt (Stout)
100. Gambit (Stout)
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Go Home to the Country
Oh. My.
I spent a heavenly weekend On The Farm. If you ever hear me say On The Farm from now on, I'm talking about The Dublin Farm. Meet my new best friends, Heinz and Maria - lovely people. (And see Chap down in the left corner? Even he is lovely.)
She is Italian and trained at culinary school there. He is Austrian and is a sommelier. Not that nationality means anything, really, but it does add a European elegance to the whole experience.
The 5 course meal was excellent, the wine was wonderful, the room cozy and spotless. I predict they will be making a lot of $$ off me.
You don't have to stay if you eat there, of course, and you don’t have to eat there if you stay. But why not? They post the menu in advance and you make a reservation and let them know which entrée you want. Great for a date or to take a group. We'll go with you any time you like!
People, if you live in the Middle Georgia area (or even if you don't), do yourself a favor and go.
(I totally stole this pic off their website. I hope our mutual photog friend, Leah Yetter doesn't hunt me down for that. This is completely her work and I'm just a borrower.)
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Now You Are The One Who Is It
Okay, it has been a long time. Life has intervened. But I'm back. And it seems I am tagged! Lauren over at life as i know it... tagged me to list seven things you may not know about me. She wanted something new on this cobwebby blog. Here goes:
1. I'm a fan of Sherlock Holmes. I have the books in various bindings, an annotated volume, a variety of pastiches (look it up) based on the character, and even a little plush Wishbone doggie in a cape (no idea where the deerstalker cap went). I have some of the movies/ TV shows but I'm not familiar enough with them to debate the relative merits of Jeremy Brett vs Basil Rathbone.
2. I do not watch scary movies. Horror movies are completely out of the question.
3. I love vocal jazz. If possible, I would like to be a jazz singer in heaven.
4. I'm an idea person. Not so good at the follow-through all the time but if you need an idea, I'm your gal. I would love a job where I come up with an idea and someone else makes it happen while I do lunch.
5. I could sit and work on PowerPoint or Publisher all day long. I love it. This would be ideal job #2: to sit and work on projects in PPt or Publisher all the time.
6. I love Mountain Dew. I struggle with guilt on this one (a. it's full of empty calories, b. it's basically pouring syrup down my throat and THAT can't be healthy, c. I could stand to lose weight and items a. and b. mean c. isn't going to happen) and wonder if it's an addiction.
Then I try to justify it and play games with myself - see how long I can go without one, tell myself it tastes bad while I drink it, force myself to choose between a Dew at the office or dessert after dinner. And isn't that the classic sign of addiction: denial? "I can quit at any time! Really!"
I know. My interior monologue is crazy. Which is a whole 'nother post I'm not ready to write.
7. I spent the summer of 2003 reading Atlas Shrugged and then entered the Ayn Rand Essay Contest. I understand the book more now than I did immediately after reading it and I understand why I didn't place in the competition. However, I did receive some kind of honorable mention and got a free book out of the deal.
So, that's me. I'm not really tagging anyone; this is on the honor system. If you're reading this, DO IT. It's relatively painless and kind of... sort of... fun. Go forth and blog.
1. I'm a fan of Sherlock Holmes. I have the books in various bindings, an annotated volume, a variety of pastiches (look it up) based on the character, and even a little plush Wishbone doggie in a cape (no idea where the deerstalker cap went). I have some of the movies/ TV shows but I'm not familiar enough with them to debate the relative merits of Jeremy Brett vs Basil Rathbone.
2. I do not watch scary movies. Horror movies are completely out of the question.
3. I love vocal jazz. If possible, I would like to be a jazz singer in heaven.
4. I'm an idea person. Not so good at the follow-through all the time but if you need an idea, I'm your gal. I would love a job where I come up with an idea and someone else makes it happen while I do lunch.
5. I could sit and work on PowerPoint or Publisher all day long. I love it. This would be ideal job #2: to sit and work on projects in PPt or Publisher all the time.
6. I love Mountain Dew. I struggle with guilt on this one (a. it's full of empty calories, b. it's basically pouring syrup down my throat and THAT can't be healthy, c. I could stand to lose weight and items a. and b. mean c. isn't going to happen) and wonder if it's an addiction.
Then I try to justify it and play games with myself - see how long I can go without one, tell myself it tastes bad while I drink it, force myself to choose between a Dew at the office or dessert after dinner. And isn't that the classic sign of addiction: denial? "I can quit at any time! Really!"
I know. My interior monologue is crazy. Which is a whole 'nother post I'm not ready to write.
7. I spent the summer of 2003 reading Atlas Shrugged and then entered the Ayn Rand Essay Contest. I understand the book more now than I did immediately after reading it and I understand why I didn't place in the competition. However, I did receive some kind of honorable mention and got a free book out of the deal.
So, that's me. I'm not really tagging anyone; this is on the honor system. If you're reading this, DO IT. It's relatively painless and kind of... sort of... fun. Go forth and blog.
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